Encourage Yourself- Donald Lawrence

Another encouraging & uplifting song. Can you tell that I am desperate here? Encourage yourself!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6yhgFxDQMw

Blessed and Highly Favored-Clark Sisters

Enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWxshbbTYkc

Where I currently find strength....

Proverbs 3: 5-6 (New King James Version)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

And lean not on your own understanding;

6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,

And He shall direct[a] your paths.

Grateful

As I sit here and try to focus on the positive things in my life, I remember that I have always said that I was going to start a Gratitude journal about a 1000 times. I am not sure why I always buy journals and never write in them, maybe because just like everything else, real life takes over and I forget to "stop and smell the roses." I was actually thinking about this last weekend, because I had had a pretty rough weekend and was emotionally drained. I was desperately searching for something to ease my pain. I started to not even go to church, but I felt this strong desire to be there all at the same time. Upon my arrival at church, I discovered that one of our dance ministry groups was on the program.

I thought, "Great, now maybe this will make me feel better...because Lord, I
REALLY need something from you right now."

Well guess what they decided to dance to? They were dancing to Grateful, by Hezekiah Walker. I just love that song...it always brings tears to my eyes, and helps me remember that in the midst of all the pain, I have A LOT to truly be GRATEFUL for. After service was over, I thought,

"Okay, Lord I get it... no more excuses. I need to start focusing on what you
HAVE DONE for me , instead of what you ARE NOT doing because you may be working in my life and I just can't see it just yet. It is now time for me more than
ever to start my Gratitude journal. Maybe if I focus on the things that ARE good
in my life, it will have me when dealing with the things that ARE NOT going so
great right now."

I am still a little hard-headed though, because it is now almost 4 days since Sunday, and I am just now getting started. So here is my list for the week (as I set the mood, by listening to the song) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx_vdEZQnBc



I am GRATEFUL for.....

• For our beautiful and brilliantly smart little girls


• God giving me an AWESOME example of how to me a mother, from my own mother and grandmother


• Being able to have my grandmother actively in my life for as long as I did (I really miss Grandma)


• For having a job to get up and go to everyday


• Not having to figure out where my next meal is coming from


• Even though sometimes we are not sure how the bills will get paid, it always seems to work out


• The years that I have had with Kevin thus far. Even though we have had some hard times, I have learned more about myself throughout the marriage that I may not have learned any other way


• The support and love from family


• The friends that I have who TRULY care about me...I have been very fortunate for the ones that I have had and still have...they have truly been a blessing. People always seem to come into my life in different seasons for different reasons, but it is always at just the right time


• That God has been a strong presence in my life continuously tugging at my heartstrings (even when I have told him to stop and leave me along) for the past 3 years...didn't know then why, but without him I may have been a lot worse off

Now, will you accept my challenge? Listen to the song in the link above, and then think...What am I GRATEFUL for?

Is Real Life Reality?

As I look back over my life and the dreams that I once had, I wonder...what happened?  I had the greatest hopes for the type of mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend and teacher that I would be.  I have found that it is easy to dream when you are not dealing with reality.  I believe the reality is what has happened is...real life has taken over my "fairy-tale" life. 

 

I had once dreamed that if I EVER decided to get married, that I would be a stay-at-home mother so that I could dote all of my attention on my children and husband.  I wanted to be sure that I had all the time to give them if they needed it.  I wanted to volunteer at their schools, as well as within the community helping others.  Once reality set in (as well as the bills) I realized that dream would NOT be a reality for me.  It was "high ho, high ho...it's off to work I go", and so began the merry-go-round that we all know so well.  Get up, get the kids ready for school, go to work, work like a dog, go home (eventually before dark...and sometimes not), cook dinner (if you have the engergy), help kids with homework, get them ready for bed, grade papers, watch a little TV or read a book, and pass out; only to repeat it all again the next day, and the next, and so on until you retire.  I'm just not sure that is all that life is supposed to be about.

 

After 12 years at this job, I still can't figure out how to mangage it all.  I have tried to be Superwoman, and was crushed when I discovered that I was not.  I do not have any superpowers, or a magic wand.  I am just a regular mom and wife, attempting to keep her household intact.  I have found that if I devote more time to one area in my life, be it my kids, marrige, job, my health, or my friendships, then several other things begin to fall apart.  I try to get my priorities in order, but that doesn't seem to work either.  I try to put God first and then my marriage; but then my kids start feeling left out, or they don't keep up with their homework and/or I get behind with my job.  Who are these people who seem to make life seem so easy and everything just seems to flow and work in sync for them?  What is their secret?  What magic potion are they taking?  I REALLY need to know. 

 

As I sit here in the wee hours of the morning...I feel the ground beneath my feet crumbling.  I have been holding on for dear life, but there are some areas in my life where I am losing my grip.  I don't know that I have the energy to hang on and keep tugging the rope much longer...it is wearing me down both mentally and physically.  Is this really just the reality of real ife sinking in?  There has to be so much more to life than this.

 

Tracie